Romans 14 Round Two: Dealing With Controversy

Arguments over gray areas can feel bigger than the gospel. Walking through Romans 14, we dig into a practical, heart-level question: how do we honor convictions, protect unity, and keep the main thing the main thing when Christians disagree? From meat offered to idols in ancient Rome to modern flashpoints like masks, alcohol, and personal lifestyle choices, we explore a biblical framework that trades scorekeeping for spiritual growth.

We start by naming the real tension: believers come from different stories and sensitivities. Paul refuses to pick a single “right” side on disputable matters; instead, he calls each of us to live unto the Lord with a clean conscience and thanksgiving. That means two guardrails: don’t despise those who refrain, and don’t condemn those who partake. The kingdom of God is not about eating or drinking; it’s about righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. We unpack what it looks like to limit our freedom in love when a brother or sister could stumble, and how to discern when something is a clear command versus a gray area that requires wisdom.

Along the way, we share stories, practical questions for decision-making, and a gentle challenge to pray before you post, listen before you lecture, and build before you break. If it’s truly sin, pursue honest, loving correction. If it’s gray, choose patience and trust the Lord to guide consciences over time. Unity is not uniformity; it’s worshiping the same Lord while carrying each other’s burdens and convictions with respect.

If this conversation helps you breathe easier about messy disagreements and gives you tools to lead with grace, we’d love your support. Subscribe, leave a review, share it with a friend who needs encouragement, and tell us: what’s the gray area you wrestle with most?

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The More We Dig. The More We Find.

Scripture quotations taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation (NLT).
Copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation.
Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Chapters

• 0:00 Framing The Romans 14 Controversy
• 1:14 Community And A Lighthearted Argument
• 3:17 From Law To Life Together In Christ
• 4:09 Masks, Meat, And Modern Parallels
• 6:11 Reading Romans 14 Aloud
• 13:21 Principles For Gray Areas
• 16:22 Keeping The Main Thing Central

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Welcome to the Bible Breakdown Podcast. Every day, we take one chapter of the Bible, dig deeper, and discover that the more we dig, the more we find. You can find out more at the BibleBreakdown.com. Now let's grow in God's Word together. Well, everybody. Welcome back to the Bible Breakdown Podcast with your host, Pastor Brandon. Today, Romans chapter 14. If I were to give this one a title, it would just simply be Dealing with the Controversy, man. Just dealing with controversy. I don't know about you. Maybe most of everybody listening to this, you never deal with controversy. It's always awesome where you live. Not always so much with me. There's always some kind of controversy going on. And I have way too many conspiracy theorist friends. Some of y'all listen to this podcast, you know exactly who I'm talking about. Yes. So what do we do when as Christians we deal with controversy? Because it's one thing for non-Christians to deal with controversy that they're not Christians. Of course, they have controversy. But aren't we as Christians supposed to get along all the time? What happens when this perfect idea of what it is to be part of the Christian community doesn't work out? And we have disagreements. What do we do? Well, we're going to talk about that in just a moment. But as always, like what we're doing here. Make sure you like, share, and subscribe to the YouTubes. Leave us a comment on how you're connecting with all of this. Also, if you wouldn't mind, go to the podcast and leave me a five-star review. It really does help. You guys are my favorites, and we are on the road to 1,000 subscribers on YouTube. So make sure you're doing that as well. And then the rally point for all of us is Facebook. We're going to the Facebook group, Bible Breakdown Discussion, and they're doing an absolutely phenomenal job over there. And it's awesome. And I'm they want me to start asking you guys questions, and that way you can have kind of respond to some of this. So I want to ask you this question, and that is what is the silliest argument you've ever gotten into? What is the silliest argument you have ever gotten into? Can I tell you what one of mine is? My wife and I, when we first got married, we used to argue, quote unquote, kind of play argue at first. We would play argue about where we were going to go eat. Have you ever done that one, right? And I say play argue because I'm thinking of the first 90 seconds. Because you know, the first 90 seconds, especially when you're a newlywed, is hey, babe, where would you like to go eat? Oh, sweetheart, I don't care. Where would you like to go eat? You're so cute. You know I don't care. Where would you like to go eat? And they just go back and forth. And you know, somewhere in my experience, somewhere about the 90-second mark, it's not fun anymore. And I start going, um, okay, so so like really, where do you want to go eat? I really don't care. And then this is what both of us would do. We'd we'd pick a restaurant. Let's go to restaurant A, whatever, the first one. Oh, I don't want that one. You just said you don't care. And I tell you one time, uh my wife would say, I really don't care, just pick a place. And you know what I would start doing? I would start saying, if you don't pick a place, I'm just gonna drive home. I'm gonna keep on driving home until you pick a place. And one day she actually called me on my bluff and we drove all the way home and just ate sandwiches and stayed mad the rest of the day. And so that's that's one of the silliest ones for me. I want to know in the comments for you. I want to talk about that idea. We've been we've been talking about how Paul is slowly building this amazing gospel theology of how we are walking toward Christ, and it's it's awesome. And if you want to get your your NLT Bibles open with me to Romans chapter 14, he he's been telling us about, you know, we were without Christ, and then God sent the law. The law showed us we needed a savior. Then we found Jesus and he rescued us. We're no longer slaves, and but the battle still continues. We're growing in freedom every day. We're no longer under any kind of condemnation. We reach out to others so they can experience the same thing. And then once we're in the kingdom of God, we become the original transformers. And he's transforming us into his likeness. And then we we go from there and we're living for God together. And now we're talking about the idea of what happens when you're living to God together and there's controversy. What do you do when there's controversy among Christians? Well, there was this controversy that was going on during the time of Paul that was a real big deal. I would liken it to, if I'm really honest, and I don't want this to be controversial, but it's just what it was, is this passage of scripture was used a lot during the 2020 COVID situation when people were asked to wear masks in public. There were Christians who said that because I'm a Christian, I don't want to wear that mask. It infringes on my freedom. Then there were other Christians who said, but because there are vulnerable people among us, we should wear our mask. And it became a test of faith for a lot of people. If you love Jesus, you wear a mask. Well, if you love Jesus, you don't wear a mask and you don't ask me to wear a mask. And it became a really big deal for a lot of people. And it really became over something that should have never been really a salvation issue for people, but it became a controversy. Well, that was what was happening in the time of Paul. Because what was happening, especially in Rome, a lot of paganistic worship was going on. And what people would do, many times, many people like at meat markets and stuff like that, is in order to, you know, hopefully secure the sale, get the blessing of whatever God they worshiped, they would go and sacrifice that bull or goat or whatever. And then what they would sacrifice it on the altar of whatever God, they would cut the meat up, and then they would go to the meat market and would sell it. Well, these young Christians would say, Well, I don't know if that's necessarily right or not, because maybe I should eat that meat because I know that that's really not a real God and all that. But other people, maybe I shouldn't eat it because that represents paganism, and I don't want to support that. And so it was back and forth and back and forth, and people said, Well, if you love Jesus, you're not going to eat that meat because it was sacrificed to an idol. Other people said, But I love Jesus, and now that those aren't real, I can eat whatever I want to eat, and it became a problem, much like the masks at COVID. And so what happens when controversy starts to swirl in gray areas? Well, let's read about this and let's see what God's Word has to say. Romans chapter 14, verse 1. Accept other believers who are weak in their faith and don't argue with them about what they think is right or wrong. For instance, one person believes that it's right to eat anything, but another believer with a sensitive conscience will only eat vegetables. Those who feel free to eat anything must not look down on those who don't. And those who don't eat certain foods must not condemn those who do, for God has accepted them. You who uh who are you to condemn someone else's servants? Their own master will judge them when they stand or fall, and with the Lord's help they will stand and receive his approval. In the same way, some think one day is more holy than another day, while others think every day is alike. You should each be fully convinced that whatever day you choose is acceptable. For those who worship the Lord on a special day, do it to honor him. For those who eat any kind of food do so to honor the Lord. Since they give thanks to God before eating, those who refuse to eat certain foods also want to please the Lord and give thanks to God. For we don't live for ourselves or die for ourselves. If we live, it's to honor the Lord, and if we die, it's to honor the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. Christ died and rose again for this very purpose, to be Lord both of the living and of the dead. So why do you condemn another believer? Why do you look down on another believer? Remember, we will all stand before the judgment seat of God, for the scriptures say, As surely as I live, says the Lord, every knee will bend to me, every tongue will confess and give praise to God. Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God. So, let's stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall. I know and am convinced on the authority of the Lord Jesus that no food in and of itself is wrong to eat. But if someone believes it is wrong, then that person, to that person it is wrong. And if another believer is distressed by what you eat, you are not acting in love if you eat it. Do not let your eating ruin someone else's or ruin someone for whom Christ died. Then you will not be criticized for doing something you believe is good. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of what you eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness, a life of peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. And if you serve Christ with this attitude, you will please God and other people will approve of you too. So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up. Don't tear apart the work of God over what you eat. Remember, all foods are acceptable, but it is wrong to eat something if it makes another person stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink or wine or do anything else if it might cause another believer to stumble. You may believe there's nothing wrong with what you are doing, but keep it between yourself and God. Blessed are those who don't feel guilty for doing something if they have decided it is right. But if you have doubts about whether or not you should eat anything, you are sinning if you go ahead and you do it. For you are not following your convictions. And if you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning. So Paul, he really had one continuous thought there. That's why I wanted to go ahead and read it and then let's talk about it. What he's saying is, is there are definite do's and don'ts in God's word, right? Because there's it's like if you're driving down the road, there are definite potholes in the road that will keep your car from being able to run properly. So he's saying, don't be a drunk, don't commit adultery, don't lie to one another. You know, these things. But what about the gray areas? What about the areas that are not in God's word? What about the fact that the Bible says do not be drunk with wine wherein is excess, but be filled with the Holy Spirit? Well, there are some people who say, okay, well, it says not to be drunk, but that doesn't mean I can't have a drink. I just shouldn't get drunk. Well, that becomes a gray area because it doesn't, the Bible doesn't say you cannot have a drink of alcohol. That's it, it doesn't say that in there. It says don't be drunk with alcohol. Now, for some people, they would say, well, that is a very slippery slope. And so I don't want to slip down that slope. So I'm just gonna say no. There's other people that say, Well, I don't have a problem with alcohol, and so I'm gonna do it. So then what do we do? Do we divide fellowship over a preference rather than something that is straight up in God's word? Well, Paul is saying, here's the answer when you experience controversy or you deal with criticism in the gray areas, keep the main thing the main thing. The answer to dealing with controversy is to keep the main thing the main thing. For instance, in the alcohol debate, it would be the Bible says, don't get drunk. Well, you know what we're gonna do? We're gonna keep the main thing the main thing, and we are not going to drink alcohol to excess. So, in my life, I'm not gonna drink any alcohol at all. Because I don't want to start slipping down a slope. But if you do, praise the Lord. I'm just gonna caution you and then let's move forward. Think of another great area in your life. Let's go back to the one we talked about at the beginning, during the time of COVID, when people were saying it was a test of faith that if you wore a mask, you were sinning. If you didn't wear a mask, you were sinning. Now, I don't know about you. I have read this Bible more than once. I have gone from cover to cover, and I've even read parts of the Apocrypha and stuff like that, and I had never seen the word um COVID mask in the Bible. It's a great area. I think it's it's a very, very great area, and it comes down to honoring your neighbor in a lot of ways. So the question then becomes, what do we do? Well, we're gonna keep the main thing the main thing. And if the main thing is that we are going to protect one another, then you know what we're gonna do? We're gonna keep that protecting one another. And if my way of protecting you is to not wear my mask but keep a distance from you, praise the Lord. If you're gonna wear a mask and wear a shield and all this kind of stuff and whatever, okay, praise the Lord. That has nothing to do with our relationship with you because our relationship with God and our relationship with one another is so much a bigger deal than what all of this ought to be. That's why he says that the kingdom of God in verse 17 is not a matter of what we eat or drink, not about the gray areas of life. The kingdom of God is living a life of goodness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. So, what do we do with this? Maybe in your life right now, you're frustrated with somebody. You're frustrated over a gray area, an area that you think they should know better. Well, let me ask you this question Is it that big a deal? Is it a main thing or is it a preference? Maybe it is a main thing. Maybe it's a real big deal and it's not gray, it's very black and white. What if instead of dividing from that person and ghosting and isolating, you prayed to the Lord to open a door and you sat down with them and y'all talked through it? Maybe they're right and you're wrong. Or maybe you're right and they've never thought about it before. Let's look at it another way. Maybe it's a gray area. Do you know what you do? You pray and you ask God to bring clarity to you and to bring clarity to them. Because it's okay if it's a gray. It's okay if it's a gray. God will reveal to them in that time if he needs to take that out of their life, or if he does for you. And so what's your next step? Give it to the Lord. When someone else is doing something you think is wrong, unless it is outlined clearly in God's word, you give it to God and let them do what they think God is having in their life. And trust the Lord to convict them when the time is right. And then for you, be careful to not live in the grace. Be careful to study, to show yourself approved, to think through those things and to find a place of peace in your heart. I'll finish with this. I I know a lady who doesn't drink soda. She doesn't drink it at all. She said one day that when she was praying a long time ago, she really wanted to give something to God, like this is an act of worship. It just came came into her mind. She wanted to give something to the Lord, and and she always felt like that. She wanted to honor God with her body, and she felt like that drinking soda with all the sugar wasn't good for her. And as she was thinking about wanting to give something to the Lord and wanting to honor her body, she was drinking a coke. And in that moment, she said, You know what? This coke isn't healthy. It's not a sin, but I don't want it anymore. It's a gray area at best, right? And so she gave it to the Lord. And she would talk about how when she ended up having grandkids one day and her grandkids would get older, she'd buy sodas for them, but she wouldn't drink any. And her grandkids would tease her and say, Oh, come on, grandma, why don't you have a soda? Why don't you want one? I think Jesus will be okay with it. And they just tease her and tease her. And she said, nope, no, it's okay. It's okay. Even to the point that when they got a little bit older, they started to say, Grandma, I think that's legalism. I think that's wrong. I think you should be drinking soda with us. And she'd say, Baby girl, it's got nothing to do with you. This is this is a conviction of mine that's not a sin. It's just an act of worship. That it's my way of saying, God, every time I see one of those sodas and I want one, I'm just saying, I love Jesus more. Isn't that beautiful? What if, verse 19, we aimed for harmony in the church and we tried to build each other up? If so, if someone has a conviction that we don't have, that's not lined out in God's word, it's more of a gray area, we celebrate that. Man, that's awesome that you don't eat bacon. You know, I feel sad for you, but it's awesome. It's awesome you don't drink soda. It's awesome that you do or you don't have a glass of wine at dinner, as long as you keep it within healthy parameters. And then if you don't, I'm not here to condemn you. I might be here to walk with you. But you know, that's awesome. And the things I'm gonna do, it's awesome because we're gonna keep the main thing, the main thing. And that's how we deal with controversy in the body of Christ. Let's pray. God, thank you so much for today. Thank you for your goodness, your mercy, your kindness. Thank you because you're with us. God, when we live in this world and we live among other people, it's hard a lot of times to find that middle ground. I pray you'll help us to find it so that we can live in harmony with one another and keep the main thing the main thing, so we don't give place to the enemy in our lives. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. And amen. I pray that this will be your reality in Romans 116 that says, For I am not ashamed of the good news about Christ. Why? Because it is the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes. I love you. I'll see you tomorrow for Romans chapter 15.